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How would you handle this situation?

Asked by SamIAm (8703points) May 7th, 2010

It’s a tough one, and has a few parts.

My father’s very close friend fell about 3 months ago and when he went to the doctor, they found a cancerous tumor on his liver. Since then, the cancer has spread through his blood. My father went to visit him at his home and he looks very sickly, frail, and old. His last rights were read to him and they do not think he will make it past the weekend.

How would you console someone from 3,000 miles away? What do you say in this situation? Saying “I’m sorry” never seems to be enough, and it’s not like I am there to hug him.

Also, my father had his prostate removed almost 2 years ago but the cancer spread (he received radiation and I am assuming it is under control for now) but he really should be living a healthier lifestyle. What can I say and how can I say it… to make him realize that he needs to stick around for a while? When will it be appropriate to discuss this with him (I am assuming he will be upset for quite a while if his friend passes this weekend)? The sooner the better? I will be surprising him at home in two weeks, so maybe talking in person will be best (although very hard and uncomfortable for me, I’m such a baby when it comes to this stuff).

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