Caught between a friend and my hair... what would you do?

I have been asking my stylist, who is a friend working very PT out of her basement) to color my hair for over three weeks now. She canceled last Thursday, this weekend and again for tonight. This is common for her if she is tired or has had a bad day with the kids. Basically, she cancels when she is feeling overwhelmed. (I have seen her do it with others, so she isn’t just blowing me off.)

Anyway, I’m at the point where I just want to do it myself at home but I know she will feel guilty for putting me off and it might also hurt her feelings. Not to mention she’ll kill me for using home color.

Should I wait or should I do it myself? I’m really torn. Hair seems like such a superficial thing to potentially upset a friendship, but I have dark brown hair with 3” gray roots – it is not pretty!!