Can you give me some advice on how to proceed with this issue regarding my children?

I have always been there for my kids, without question, and to the best of my abilities. I feel like that’s what parents are supposed to do. I don’t expect as much back, but they do step up now and then when I need a little help, but no where near what I’ve done for them over the years. I don’t really have a problem with it. At the most I’m sometimes mildly disappointed, but I also know that they have things going on in their lives.

Well, I finally have a bitch about it.

Last week I spent an entire week shopping for presents and food for the big Christmas dinner on Friday, all by myself. On Thursday night we took 4 of the grandkids over night because we wanted to. On Friday I spent the day cooking. One of my daughters said she’d come over and help me clean. At one point we took the kids out to the land for a couple of hours. I was hoping my daughter would take that time to clean. She didn’t.

Everyone was expected to arrive between 4:30 and 5. At about 4:15 I finally realized I also had a house to clean in the middle of all the preparations so I was rushing about like mad trying to get that done. I have to clarify…of all my kids, she’s the one I can count on the MOST, so I chalked it up to miscalculations on her part of what she had to get done that day. I decided not to stress about it, although the house wasn’t in the shape I prefer for company.

Dinner went wonderfully. Everyone had a wonderful time. In the aftermath the sink was so covered with dishes and stuff that you couldn’t even see it….But not one person raised a hand to help clean, not even a little, before they left.

The next morning I spent 3 hours on the kitchen alone, and it STILL wasn’t done and we had to leave to go to Pittsburgh, Kansas for Rick’s family Christmas. The kitchen and the rest of the house was still absolutely trashed. We weren’t due back until late Sunday evening.

I admit…I hoped that the one daughter who was supposed to help me clean would come in and finish up…..
She didn’t. No one did. I know it’s wrong to hope that other people will read your mind, but she was going to be in and out taking care of the dogs, and she seriously owed me at least that much.

Now I’m pissed. I’m just as pissed at the other two as I am with the one daughter. That is freaking RIDICULOUS.

I’m not a martyr, but I’m not a door mat either. I feel that their utter indifference and neglect was unacceptably rude and thoughtless and, as their mother, I think I would be doing a disservice to them by just letting it slide.

I want to write a letter and send a copy to each one…but I need help with the tone and the words.

What would you say? ..... ? am i gonna get ripped here???