Social Question

serenade's avatar

What's a good "match %" for online dating?

Asked by serenade (3779 points ) November 11th, 2012 from iPhone

I’m window shopping on OkCupid, and decided to give being very specific about what I want a try instead of my usual open-ended going with the flow approach. I’ve been pleasantly surprised to find people who (algorithmically, at least) are very high matches expressed in percentage. That kind of match is not at all something I’m used to—for whatever reason, I’ve taken up with women who require a good bit of work and self-sacrifice to maintain. My fear now, though, is that finding someone so similar will become a little or a lot boring.

What do you think works best in this regard? If you expressed it as a percentage, what’s the sweet spot in terms of a match? 60%? 70%? 90%? Or how would you characterize it?

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7 Answers

zenvelo's avatar

I am on OKCupid also. I try to focus on matches greater than 80%, and a “friend” match of at least 60%. But sometimes their algorithm applies an odd percentage for reasons I can’t comprehend, and if I find someone both attractive and compatible I will write them anyway.

bookish1's avatar

I had a really high match with one of my exes on OKC… the one who turned out to be a sociopath!
Those match percentages are REALLY culture/region/class specific as well. You never know who you are going to fall in love with (or discover some other really good connection with) if you limit yourself to people who come from the exact same cultural or class background.
I got sick of OKC a while ago but I tended to find the answers to questions much more revealing than just going by match percentage.

livelaughlove21's avatar

Honestly, you could have a 100% match and that person can still be a complete psycho. And assuming online daters all tell the truth is a flaw in itself. But, in theory, I’d say 70% and up is a good starting point. But I don’t think completely looking over people with a lesser percentage is a great idea – mostly because I don’t have much confidence in the accuracy of those questionnaires in determining compatibility.

As for the comment you made about a close match being potentially boring – probably not. The “opposites attract” theory is more myth than reality. The more dissimilar people are, the less they have in common, and the more likely they are to have high conflict and divorce in marriage. The major exception would be in dominant/submissive relationships in which the couple would have to be different in order to complement each other. Most people are not that extreme. The fact is that people tend to be in serious relationships with people who are like them. And it’s doubtful that you’d meet someone SO similar to you that it would be boring because of that.

lifeflame's avatar

Actually, I believe the match% has nothing to do with how similar you are, but how close someone is to answering the questions important to you in the way you want them to answer. Here’s how it’s calculated:
http://www.okcupid.com/help/match-percentages

mrentropy's avatar

Match percentages never did anything for me, neither high nor low. I’m universally unwanted.

tedd's avatar

I would not pay any attention to the “Match%”

If you can’t tell someone is or isn’t a match via just reading their profile, then you should probably take a step back and assess yourself before moving forward with someone else.

sinscriven's avatar

The problem with the Match percentage system in OKC is that it is entirely dependent on the level of effort both people take with their questionnaires.

If you look up someone who’s only answered 20 questions that were very general to begin with, you’re going to get a very high compatibility rating. Compared to someone like me who had answered 600+ of them which will grant someone a much more accurate rating if they answered somewhere in the ballpark of that many questions.

I start reading people’s profiles once they are at 75%, and only use it as a marker of remote compatibility. The rest of their profile has to sell them the rest of the way.

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