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Seeking Flutherite opinions -- How would you handle this sad family matter?

Asked by SadieMartinPaul (8119 points ) January 21st, 2013

If you know me at Fluther, you know that my mother is in the sixth of Alzheimer’s seven stages. Although she’s often confused and has lost almost all of her short-term and long-term memory, she remains very friendly and social. She has retained all of her vocabulary, and she has lucid conversations.

Sadly, she’s developed some nauseating table manners. There’s no need to be graphic here. Let’s just say that her behavior is truly revolting, and that she won’t stop.

Mom loves going to restaurants. She enjoys trying different meals, interacting with the server, and watching the people around her. A restaurant meal is a very good thing for Mom.

Because of her manners, however, I haven’t taken her to a restaurant in ages. Other patrons make plans, and pay good money, to have a nice dining experience. I don’t think it’s fair to expose them to Mom’s stomach-turning habits.

What do you think?

(1) I’ve made the right choice. There’s no cure for Alzheimer’s, and Mom’s decline can’t be helped, so I just need to adjust as her disease progresses. When she can no longer walk, I’ll help her with a wheelchair; now that her table manners are bad, she should eat at home.

(2) The heck with other restaurant patrons. There’s no predicting how much longer Mom will be capable of eating out, so I should let her enjoy some restaurant meals.

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