Can you come up with any fun examples of what the news would sound like if they were honest with their language?

This is a follow up question to my last one regarding how the news use sneaky manipulative language to twist things.

Can you come up with any examples of what recent news stories would sound like, if they were honest with their language?

For example:

“The government stole more money from us today under the guise of improving hospitals. In reality we can all expect it to take longer now to get a lower quality of care than before. Lets go over to a a politician telling lies in the form of soundbites.”