Royal baby "hysteria": Should we Brits serve scones or crumpet at our spiffing garden parties & wash it down with lemonade or lashings of ginger beer?

Because we all are ever so excited, beside ourselves with joy & rapture.
You see, there’s not an awful lot to do over here, what with the constant rain.
Dash it all, my bowler hat, brief case & brolly are positively drenched don’t you know.
Anyway, enough of that bally nonsense, scones or crumpet for a spiffing nosh up?
Princess Apathy is such a darling, I may just weep with joy.
Jolly good show & a big hoorah!!