What would you do?
Say your ex gf is preggo and is marrying the baby’s father next summer. But recently she has confided in you that she’s questioning the marriage and still has feelings for you. She tells you what’s wrong with her fiancé. It seems he’s a psychopathic control freak. She said she’d leave him, except: 1.Doesnt want to hurt his feelings, 2. He’s threatened suicide if she does, and 3. He’s the baby’s father. She tells you to keep quiet and to do nothing or she will never talk to you again or forgive you. You may get an invite to the wedding. Marrying this guy would lead to a life of great misery for her. What would you do?
Observing members:
0
Composing members:
0
13 Answers
Get as far away from these crazy people as possible.
She is the only one who can change her situation.
If I were you, I’d keep your distance now and after the wedding. Should there come a time when they split up, and you and she still have feelings for each other, then you can assess the situation anew.
Sounds like a lot of drama. I think she’s probably just messing with your emotions and trying to keep you on a chain. I understand calling off a marriage is a pretty big deal, but if she REALLY wanted to she would. She needs to make her decision without getting you involved. You should move on with your life and forget a bout her. She shouldn’t have put you in that position.
I agree with everyone. There is nothing you can or should do here but back away from the situation.
Say a prayer for her and her child, and move on. I wouldn’t get involved.
Run, don’t walk, away from this situation.
She is fucking with your head.
Kind of sad to see people walk directly into a train wreck—when they have time to avoid it. But sadly, she is not really asking you for help. Were she, it would sound differently, like: “What should I do?” But what she said is, “say nothing, do nothing.” Therefore, I would probably not go to the wedding if invited, and would stay clear.
Involving yourself in anyway is trouble.
Stay away. Should she happen to clear up the shit she’s got herself in, then great. Till then just move on.
You’re not Bristol Palin’s ex-boyfriend by any chance?
You are the sounding board for her regrets. Her life as she knows it is about to end, and she’s grasping at straws here. She’s about to become someone’s mother and someone’s wife. Like it or not, want it or not, the biological intended outcome of sex for women is pregnancy.
Your purpose in all this is that as she walks into what she has chosen, she would like to hang onto her past. She does have the option of not getting married, and having the baby and raising it on her own or putting it up for adoption.
Wish her well and walk away, unless you enjoy having your chain yanked.
I agree with so many others. While she may genuinely care for you (and you her), you are her past. She has not only her future to consider but that of her (their) child. Reading your A & B and knowing she has clarity on those points makes one wonder why she’s even still on speaking terms with him, and why she would expose her child to that life.
Extricate yourself, be her friend but at a great distance. If he is indeed as unstable as the portrait she paints…you should have plenty of opportunities to be her friend when she has moved on in a productive and sensible way.
When you see a train barrelling down the track towards you and your stalled car, do you just stand there with your hands up, as if you were a traffic cop?
No. You get the hell out of the way!
Answer this question 
This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.
Composing members:
0
