General Question

madcapper's avatar

Is this gonna be cool?

Asked by madcapper (3095 points ) December 11th, 2008

My best friend is now into crazy goth scene shit and when I return to Ohio I told him I would come up to Detroit and check out these ” conventions” where he gets hooked through his chest and pulls people. Do you think this would be fun? I am interested to what people think? I think it would be neat to be thrown into sub-culture and interact but I also think this shit is weird…

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

6 Answers

Jeruba's avatar

First of all, that kind of scene could be dangerous. One thing to make sure of before you go in for any kind of kinky/weird stuff is that safety agreements are in place and safety precautions are taken.

Beyond that, I’d say the main thing to go on is your own appetites and inclinations. Some people get into weird stuff and others (most) have no taste for it at all. It can be safe and fun and exciting to some and a real gross-out or turnoff to others. So what other people tell you about what they like or don’t really has nothing to do with what you might or might not like.

If you are open-minded and curious, you might go along with your friend in a spirit of adventure and just see what it’s like and how it makes you feel. You probably won’t be pressured into doing anything, and if you are, you should leave. If it turns out not to be your thing, that’s the end of it.

madcapper's avatar

thanks I know I wouldn’t be pressured into anything because as my friend of many years he knows I can’t be talked into anything haha. But I agree if I want to go I will. I just wanted some opinions and I appreciate yours jeruba. I am jsut not sure if am gonna sit there slack jawed and weirded out or if I will enjoy myself. Suppose I’ll find out..
I like to think “sink or swim” in social situations because then they become more fun.

Jeruba's avatar

Well, when I accepted my friend’s invitation to go along on her adventure into kinkiness, we both found ourselves in a pretty strange place. It was a dungeon scene. I went along because the things that people do fascinate me, and the variety of ways that people can connect with one another is astonishing.

I was totally weirded out for about the first 15 minutes, seeing things I’d never seen or even imagined before. But then I began to notice how things worked (the rules and contracts and precautions), to understand how much of it was about imagination and fantasy, to see how respect and tolerance were deeply entrenched in the experience, and above all to observe how happy everybody was—how people were truly enjoying themselves (doing things I just knew right away I would never be able to do). Spectators were treated kindly. I was ok with observing and even asking questions. There were some things I couldn’t watch. I worked at understanding these different ways of relating, and I came to some appreciation of them even though, again, it wasn’t for me.

My friend, though—she jumped right in. She had a blast, loved it, got totally caught up in it. Still is. This was years ago. I kept her company on 3 or 4 adventures, and then I’d had enough. She is still an enthusiast. And I am just about the only friend she can talk to about this side of her life.

Just be cautious, @madcapper, and don’t get into something you can’t get safely out of.

madcapper's avatar

thanks @ jeruba that is a very good answer!

augustlan's avatar

Go, observe and report back! Just make sure to drive yourself…that way if you want to leave, you can.

madcapper's avatar

Its not gonna be for a couple of months but I will make a post after I go!

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther