At what point should I say "enough is enough" in my relationship?

Asked by ItalianPrincess1217 (11979) December 14th, 2009 from iPhone

I apologize in advance for such a lengthy post, but I’m struggling and at the end of my rope. Any advice is appreciated more than you know!
I’m supposed to be planning my wedding and instead I’m arguing with my fiancé every other minute. We’ve been together for almost 5 years and lived with each other almost 4. We have always had ups and downs (as any couple does) but lately it’s been discouraging. He is very insecure in just about every aspect of his life. I’ve tried for years to be as supportive as I can be but it’s getting to the point where I’m ready to just throw my hands up in defeat!

Part of me wants to run away and fast. Red flags are going up. He’s picked a fight with me almost every single day for the past month or so. I’m exhausted. And my biggest problem with it is that he starts the arguements with a little comment like “Well if you hadn’t gone out drinking the other night we would have more money.” This would be okay if he hadn’t been the one encouraging me to go out and have fun with my girl friends. This is a habit of his. He acts completely okay with something and then later brings it up and uses it as ammo in an arguement. He’s clearly bitter.

He’s aware that he does this. And when I try to have conversations with him about it (and our many other issues) he disappears in a shell. He suddenly becomes insecure again and forgets where his arguements were even going!

Due to our constant bickering, our entire relationship has been effected. Our sex life is dying off. I feel very little physical connection with him anymore. I still love him of course, but I need to have a strong and passionate connection also.

I am fed up. I’m scared to death to marry a person that is so very insecure with himself. And as much as I want to be there for him, I know there is only so much I can do for him. He has to help himself. What should my next move be? Our wedding is less than 8 months away! Our we both getting cold feet?