Social Question

wunday's avatar

Has turning your mood around changed the people you identify with?

Asked by wunday (759points) January 22nd, 2010

I’m not sure I can get at this properly. I feel different—like I’ve emerged from hell, and I’m not going back. Even better, I believe in myself more. I can actually say good things about myself without struggling with it. This change came very suddenly, and I’m not sure it will last, but it feels really different. But I want to remember where I was, so I can make sure never to go back there, and because it is a part of me. I’m not really worried I might forget, but I’m worried I might change my allegiance somehow…

If you were depressed for a long time, but somehow emerged from it, even becoming positive, were you able to identify with fellow depressed people as well as you used to? Do you remember the feelings like yesterday? Or do you feel like you are in a different crowd now?

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9 Answers

zephyr826's avatar

I still identify with those who were struggling alongside me. However, I make an effort to disassociate myself from them, not because I don’t care, but becasue some of them can bring me down. When the people remind me of the self-destructive thoguhts and behaviors we used to engage in, I need a little space.

Ruallreb8ters's avatar

Dont feel like you need to act a certin way around people to identify with them. if your feeling positve than let them know. hopefully they will see this and you can inspire them to change their additude as well.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

When I experienced my postpartum depression I learned of the people who wouldn’t run away from me..same with parenthood…I learned of the people who would remain my friends without making assumptions as to what my life is now as a mother…I have a smaller circle of friends now but it’s all for the best.

Cupcake's avatar

I remember the feelings, but I’ve lost some of the empathy. It’s much more painful for me to be around my less-than healthy “friends” from years past. I want so much better for them… but they have to want it before they can heal.

Pandora's avatar

Usually when I’m in a funk, the last thing I do is empathize with anyone. I think I have more empathy for people when my life is fine than when it isn’t. I think when people are in a depressed mood they may gravitate more towards people in the same situation but it doesn’t necessarily mean they are in the mood to have more sympathy for them. It just makes them feel less cruddy to have someone who has a cruddier life.

augustlan's avatar

I haven’t lost any of the empathy at all. My heart still aches for everyone going through the kinds of things I went through. I try to let them know that life can be so much better with therapy and/or the proper meds. That said, I don’t think I’d want to spend large amounts of time (in ‘real life’) with someone in the midst of a major depression simply because I’m very susceptible to other people’s moods. I’m like “Super Empathy Girl”... I will take your mood on as my own, and that’s certainly not in the best interests of my mental health.

Good luck with your continued improvement!

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Like others have written, I still empathize and sometimes identify with people going through particular difficulties but I also keep my distance for my own protection. In the past I have been involved with and loved some very troubled people and it’s very draining. Anymore, I have to believe the person is capable of and then actively in pursuit of changing/evolving beyond their situation for me to be close to them.

downtide's avatar

I was chronically depressed for almost my whole life, up to about 7 years ago. I do still very much understand and empathise with people who are themselves depressed but I find it harder to associate with them. I find it much more frustrating than I used to.

YARNLADY's avatar

I’m not sure what you mean by ‘identify with’. I admire the same people I have always admired.

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