Let's come up with a replacement for "comparing apples and oranges."?

I’m referring to the idiom/saying of “comparing apples and oranges” when talking about things that are completely different that can’t be validly compared. The problem is that apples and oranges aren’t that different and can be compared in several ways. I think we should come up with a new saying. Here’s mine:

“It’s like comparing Klingon and tofu.”

What’s yours?

I’m going to lurve any answer that makes me laugh or has a poetic quality (e.g. alliteration).

Bonus points: point out a similarity in someone else’s answer.