How do I gain his trust back?

I’d start with not lying anymore

You are keeping us in suspense here. what is your deep, dark secret that you unloaded on him, but not us? no correct answer, until you “tell it like it is”.

Whoa. The big issue is why you would agree to things in the bedroom with a guy you just met and weren’t sure you liked, but won’t do them with someone you know you do like. You may have to figure out how to explain that to yourself before you try to explain it to someone else.

Pandora….wish i had thought of that answer. very good. there is more to this question than she is telling us and it shows.

It comes down to this: which do you care more about? Faith, or this person?

Think ahead – anything or anyone worth living for is worth dying for.

Is this person (or your faith) worth this? From a man’s perspective ( me ) I’d say that most guys who want you in bed dump you when they’re bored of you, especially if they get ticked that way after you tell them the truth about something.

I edited it, read it again in the beginning

Looks like you pretty much lied to him…

I did lie to him. I was sorry I did I appoligized and promised I would never do it again. What I need is your advice on what to do next.

Well i had the same thing happen but not with the dirty pictures…. in the end it didn’t work out and we broke up, but, if i was you i would be really generious to him and try to regain his trust.

1. Stop lying. Guys like me would call you a cock tease

2. Don’t feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to do. It is your body, so you shouldn’t even be worried about what his expectations are b/c it’s your body, and frankly, you’ve known him for a month, so you owe him nothing!

3. Before you start getting involved with someone else, it sounds like you need to spend time alone and resolve your issues and preferences and really get a better understanding of what you want.

4. You started your relationship with dirty text messages and saying you were open to friskyness in the bedroom. So you should automatically know what he’s interested in, and why he’s sticking around.

Would you mind saying how old you are?

I’m 15

First, you need to be very clear on what you want to do.

If you want to keep your bedroom limits, you need to be very firm about that. Don’t tease him or say you will think about it or anything else.

Next, if he is as angry at you as you say just because of the bedroom limits, then the chances are that the bedroom stuff is all he is interested in. He is just hanging around to try to talk you into doing things you don’t want to do.

In general:
How does he even know you did those things with other guys? If you told him, you set yourself up for this.

Do not tease guys by saying (or texting) dirty things you don’t mean and won’t follow through on.

Stop lying. How does that square with your faith?

I really think you had better move on and chalk this relationship up as a loss.

EDIT
I just saw you are 15.

Please just tell him that you aren’t legal yet and your father or mother said they are going to put him in jail if they find out you are with him. Walk away. Be safe and don’t rush into things you aren’t ready for. Ok so I’m old fashioned. That’s my advice.

I guess I am just an old fogey who thinks that at 15 you ought to be staying in the living room and kitchen anyway, faith or no faith. One reason is that at 15 you simply aren’t mature enough to handle these complications well, and you can hurt yourself right along with other people when you get all tangled up.

@Jeruba I agree.

If my 15 year old daughter was texting dirty things to a guy, and I found out, I’d a, beat her ass, or b, send her somewhere to work on her stuff.

The biggest thing was that I was lying, he told me had I just told him we would be fine…the reason why I lied was because I was afraid I would lose him.
It was a stupid mistake. I don’t need criticism. I need help.
but thank you to escapedone, you make a very good point.

15? unbelievable!!

From what you amended your post to say, it sounds like he’s looking for a booty call, and not girlfriend. If your faith is as important as you state, then you need to cut this guy loose and look elsewhere. He is not looking for a substantive relationship.

I go with @Jeruba, it seems to me that your question is the manifestation of a lot of confusion, you have a faith you are not sure of, and under urgency is not at all the time to decide about that, you have a boy you are not sure what you want to do with, and under pressure is also not the time for that. You are young, and sound confused. It is not the time for heavy descisions, those are made over time. Maybe you could consult your parents or any other older figure you trust, about the religious issue, and find out what you really believe in and how would you really like your life to be.

OKay, i get it, this is a trick question by an adult. it took me a few minutes to pick up on some key answers. people, do not be fooled.

its not a trick question! ???

Bedroom stuff at 15? If that’s all the dude is interested in you’re in for a world of hurt at such a young age. There’s no rush.

thats not all he’s interested in. hes mad at me for lying.

The thing that i am haveing trouble infering is that why would you text him colly pictures or whatever you were texting him?
Exactly what Marinelife said, just chalk the relationship… becasue if i was the boy (whatever his name is) i would call a end to the relationship because the last thing i would want to happen is to be used.
Why do you lie in the first place? If my kid was sending misinforming pictures i would beat her ass.
Well i agree with Marinelife and with escapedone7….
Hey who am i to say its your relationship you can do anything you want with it.

If I remember 15 correctly the ability to clearly think about sexual behavior was hard to do.

It seems to me that two things are happening 1) You are worried about trust with the boy you like 2) you are figuring out your own standards for sexual behavior.

The best way I know to be a trustworthy person it to be a person who knows herself and lives what she knows.

Talking with adults you trust and not just your peers will go a long way towards helping you feel stable about how you want to behave sexually.

When I hear you say that you don’t know what he will expect of you when you are together next I hear two people who are not in agreement about how to be sexually let alone in a relationship. Living with secrets and in hiding is a miserable way to live.

I suggest spending time writing out answers to these questions and then communicate to him your answers. He will know what he is dealing with and your clarity will bring forth trust that what you say is true. Of course, believing what you say may result in him not wanting to honor what you need and to that I say: “Who needs him!”

Tell him you’re 15! Tell him again! You’re 15! In most states that is Jailbait.
Quit sending him dirty texts. And stop leading him on.

You’re 15! Don’t wreck his life by getting him put on a SO list because he had sex with you.

Not worth your time there little lady. He’s mad because you said you put out when you don’t.
That’s the primary quality of a John Mayer level douchebag.
If he was really interested in you, he wouldn’t be so
mad over this.
Think about that today.
Talk to your mom about this. She should be able to teach you the truth about boys and men. That truth being that they wil lie to get you into bed.

Just live honestly, not just with him but in all aspects. It sounds like the two of you are quite young. If you have a caring relationship the two of you will find a way to be happy in all of the rooms in the house, not just the bedroom.

The quiz to which liminal provided a link is an excellent place to start.

I’m not going to bash you about your previous mistakes because you already realize that you should have handled it better. You are still very young and have little knowledge about how men/women relationships work in reality, much less how you truly feel about most of these issues.

Until you know your own self and values better, you have no business contemplating a sexual relationship with anyone.

But, regardless of what age you are now or in the future, you should NEVER EVER allow anyone to manipulate you into doing anything sexually with which you are not comfortable. NEVER.

Here’s a little hint about teenage boys and young men. They are basically hormones with feet. Listen to some of the guys on this site being honest with you. They remember their own young extremely horny days and recognize the actions of this guy for what they are.

If he thinks that telling you how hurt he is will guilt you into having sex with him then that’s what he’ll do. Whatever works.

If he thinks that telling you he will break up with you will do the trick, then that’s what he’ll do. Whatever it takes.

He wants to get into your pants. Most guys his age have the exact same intentions. You are the one who has to put the brakes on it. Is that fair?

It doesn’t matter whether it’s fair or not. You’re the one whose life will be forever changed by an unplanned pregnancy. You will be the one paying the price. You will also pay the price in terms of your self esteem.

Is it fair? Doesn’t matter. It is reality. If this guy chooses not to stay with you because you won’t put out, then his motives will be crystal clear.

Yes, you made the mistake of being a “cock tease” but all you owe him is a sincere apology. If he won’t accept that, it’s his loss.

Do not feel obligated to give in to him just because you made a mistake. That is just too stupid for words. You owe him nothing more than an apology.

For the future and for your own sake, seek out an understanding woman willing to talk to you about all these things. It would be great if it could be your Mom but it’s understandable if you choose someone else.

It could be your favorite teacher, the school nurse or guidance counselor. You could even ask the pastor or whatever religious leader is appropriate for your faith to recommend an understanding woman for guidance. You don’t necessarily need to be that specific as most adults realize how difficult it is to navigate through the teen years.

But it needs to be SOMEBODY. Others your own age are like the blind leading the blind. You need the wisdom of an understanding adult woman. Go seek one out. You may find yourself pleasantly surprised.

This is a pretty vulgar display of gross underestimation of honesty. Honesty is held in high regard for a reason. It keeps you from using people, among other things. It seems like you are very non-commital to just about anything that requires effort on your part, if it doesn’t benefit you, directly. You are wishy-washy in your faith, and wishy-washy about being a real friend. There isn’t much left that holds as important as those two things. In my estimation, you used him completely, just as he is using you. You guys deserve each other, but take heart! There are plenty of users in the world, so even if you two crazy kids don’t hook up, neither of you shall want for company.