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Just_Justine's avatar

Where you ever in a terrible situation, or state of thinking, or routine that you managed to get out of?

Asked by Just_Justine (6448 points ) March 21st, 2010

I have had so many situations I have been in where I felt trapped, sometimes for long periods. But I managed to “get out”. Sometimes one’s depression is a terrible situation, or bad habits and behaviours. or a bad relationship, or friendship. Did you manage to change these and go on to new levels, look back and think “Wow! I did it”.

How did you do it and was it a situation, bad habit, or a mental illness? Was it slow or quick in getting through?

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24 Answers

talljasperman's avatar

I escaped from an abusive family to move far away with the one of the few people who treated me nicely….the family member moved away first and settled down and then invited me along

Vunessuh's avatar

I answered a similar question 4 days ago so I’m kind of repeating what I said, but I suffered from depression all throughout high school. I came to several realizations about my life and the things happening around me that were completely out of my control and bam, it hit me. That loss of control and the fact that I couldn’t accept it really killed me inside. I didn’t deal with my emotions properly.
To cope, I began using a lot of drugs (mainly meth) and I developed trichotillomania among other things. I felt pretty damn hopeless. I kind of operated like a robot or a zombie. All I did was go to school, come home and sleep. I had no motivation for anything. I stopped washing my hair and bathing on a regular basis. I had no desire to take care of myself.
At one point I became numb and lost my ability to cry.
Luckily, I did snap out of it. It took me 4 years to discover this, but I discovered that acceptance was key. As soon as I began accepting the things out of my control, I was well on my way to recovery.
These days, I’m doin’ fine, aside from the occasional anxiety attack.
I don’t regret any decision I made back then. I’m thankful for having gone through it because now when similar things happen that I can’t control, I don’t get severely bent out of shape about them. I just go through the process of acceptance and stay relatively happy. I wouldn’t have that mentality if I hadn’t of been in hell for 4 years over the other shit.

Then, two years ago something happened and I suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder which I guess is considered a type of anxiety. I’m doing better with that too. That was harder for me to accept because in a way I was in control of this particular situation so I really beat myself up over it, but it didn’t take as long to heal from it all as it did back in high school.

Just_Justine's avatar

@Vunessuh I can relate and identify to a “lot” of things you have said and experienced. I have found acceptance also key with lot’s of my issues. But you have kind of reminded me about that factor, acceptance. How would that work for e.g. with depression? I would be very keen to know, thanks :)

Brian1946's avatar

Vunessuh is crafting a response while falling asleep. :-p

Vunessuh's avatar

@Just_Justine Oh, sorry. I meant acceptance about the things I couldn’t control. Not necessarily the depression itself. I will PM you an example. :)

PandoraBoxx's avatar

I have to second what @Vunessuh said about acceptance that things that are out of your control. When bad things happen, giving voice to them is better than holding them inside; you are able to manage the impact.

Lots of everyday things right themselves with time, and often when other people are involved, you have to set your parameters and ride things out. Realization and change are not immediate, nor to you always have situations turn out as you want.

CaptainHarley's avatar

My counterinsurgency team was trapped by a North Vietnamese Army unit of about platoon size once, but I don’t think that’s quite what you had in mind. : )

PandoraBoxx's avatar

@Just_Justine, with depression, part of the problem is paralysis. The situation doesn’t change if you sit still, but looking at he whole landscape is overwhelming. Break activity into smaller chunks of activity and accomplishment.

Yesterday, I did three gardening chores that I meant to do for the last three weeks. The hardest part was bringing the cordless drill up from the basement. But I did, and I finished one of the two chores that I needed the drill for, and I will do the second one today, and put the drill away. I trimmed some of the landscaping, and put part of the trimming in a bag; the rest will happen today, and I will be further ahead than I was on Friday. The sense of accomplishment helps abate some of the funk.

SABOTEUR's avatar

Similar issue answered HERE.

Just_Justine's avatar

@PandoraBoxx I know so much, what you mean about the drill.

kess's avatar

We exist as a logical impossibility few recognise.
For the mind is greater than the body yet exist within the body.

Fear arises when the body dominates the mind, and the Mind mind the “life” (which is false) of the body rather that the Truth of itself.

But we must realise that the mind must continue within the body until the purposes of the body is accomplished.

And the mind need not fear for the body until such is done.

So when things come that causes you to fear for life of the body (which truly is not of the body but of mind) , it means that you have not yet understood the purpose of the body,

When the mind come to the understanding of the purpose of the body, the Mind will not fear the death neither of itself nor of the body, for to the Mind now knows that death itself does not exist except in the body and it’s purpose accomplised in the death of the body.

So therefore overcoming situations should be expected until the mind clearly understand the purpose of the body.

When the Mind fully overcomes the body, death will occur but not as we normally expect, for the body will be transformed while you are still alive.

TheBot's avatar

The only example I can think of was my second semester in college. My sleep habits meant I pretty much became nocturnal. I would wake up at 4pm on average, sometimes as late as 6pm, and not go to bed before 6 or 7 in the morning. It was terrible. I had all sorts of depressive symptoms (though not a full blown depression) because obviously, I almost never saw the sun in this configuration. My concentration reached all-time lows, my eating habits also went wrong, my acne came back big time, I had migraines…it just seemed to shift everything in my life for the worse.

It was very hard to get out of the cycle, because obviously just going to bed at ten with an alarm clock set at 8 will not make you sleep when you have been awake on this time slot for the previous 2 months. Eventually what saved me was the summer. I went home, spent 2 weeks just sleeping and slowly shifting the pattern back into place. After these two weeks, I had a month-and-a-half internship as a receptionist in a 5-star hotel, so not only did I have to emerge in the morning, I actually had to be fresh and alert, and to suit up and everything. This ensured I would not fall back into the cycle again. By the end of the internship, I was still generally tired though, and it took an additional 2 or 3 months of healthy sleeping to recover completely.

Coloma's avatar

@kess

I love it!

I have experienced the death & rebirth of ego several times over!

Think it’s been trying to get a hold on me again…aaah…tricky isn’t it?

I have only experienced ‘situational’ depression once or twice as a result of some life blows. I am grateful that this is not something that is a chronic struggle for me.

I do know that excercise is HUGE whenever I am feeling blah.

I went on Paxil during a rocky divorce about 8 yrs. ago..what a NIGHTMARE!

I think many of these drugs are EVIL!

Had a horrible reaction, broke out oin hives, felt like the walking dead. Couldn’t tolerate it at all.

Fortunetly I had an epihany…I didn’t need a pill, I needed a new life, and I got it!

I would never, ever, ever, take twisted psychtropic drugs ever again. Complete oil & water effect with my particular psysiology! Ugh!

CMaz's avatar

I think we all do from time to time.

In general, our mind eventually will pull us out of it. Shutting off the parts of a situation that hold you back. Those emotional tendencies that distract us from making a proper decision.
Sort of like when you break up with someone and the world comes to an end, and you feel that you will never get over it. The brain gets tired of it and eventually shuts those feeling down.
The trick is not to let it manifest is other ways, then you get a domino effect that needs medication to realign.

I get in those situations all the time. I remind myself not to panic, telling myself, if I am worrying too much then it is not worth worrying about. Eventually riding the wave out of it.
Having patients is the “trick” to getting over it.

Just_Justine's avatar

@thebot quite weird you sort of read my mind, I was just thinking that perhaps earlier night sleeps might be in order, and more healthy, any one else agree. I wish I could post a question on this but I’ve run out of questions today. I do think sleep pattern counts for a lot. Thanks again.

Just_Justine's avatar

@Coloma it’s so hard to get the want to, when needing to exercise when you are feeling like doing bugger all. A real catch 22.

TheBot's avatar

@Just_Justine

Before this episode, all I knew about sleep was that I enjoyed it (I know it’s contradictory, but we all make mistakes ;-) ). But I realized that it is so much more than just comfortable hours spent in the warmth of your bed. How much you sleep is important, but I would be tempted to say it is not as important as when you sleep.

Also it seems that once you lost your good habits once, it becomes harder after you’ve recovered to keep them healthy. I have never been as careful about sleep as I am now, yet it seems that as soon as I forget to make a conscious effort to go to bed early, the next bed time automatically becomes 2 or 3 am. It’s like it doesn’t come naturally to me anymore…

Just_Justine's avatar

@TheBot so you don’t think earlier nights would be better? Just the hours?

TheBot's avatar

@Just_Justine

Lol sorry I wasn’t very clear: I actually think sleeping early is pretty much all that matters in a good night’s sleep ;-)

In terms of the number of hours, I recommend just a solid 8. Sleep 7h or less and you may be still tired in the morning, sleep more than 9h and you run the risk of having sleep inertia for the rest of the day.

PacificToast's avatar

I escaped a manipulative friendship through forgiveness and counseling. I’d cried for months before that, but the cure was pretty immediate. An enormous weight was lifted off of my back. I quit crying myself to sleep.

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