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pwincess99's avatar

I worry all the time! can someone please give me advice?

Asked by pwincess99 (123 points ) August 30th, 2010

i worry about everything!! some times its silly things such as leaving a light on at work and that i will get in trouble for it, i could worry all weekend about things. i convince myself that i haven’t done something then worry at the fact that i haven’t done it! its really getting me down now i need some advice! please help!

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11 Answers

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mandybookworm's avatar

There are things in life that you simply cannot control no matter how hard you try. When you have a problem think “can I control this?” and “will this matter in five years?”. if the answer is no, than it is not worth worrying about. If the answer is yes think about how you can solve the problem.

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Austinlad's avatar

My mother used to tell me that the things we worry about the most rarely happen, or at least rarely happen as badly imagine.

But David Mamet said it even better than tha in one of his movies:

“Worry is like interest paid in advance on a debt that never comes due.”

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Perhaps you have anxiety issues – it’s good to see a therapist.

Coloma's avatar

@Austinlad

Love it! :-)

Excessive worry is a sign of neurosis and a waste of the present moment.

I am not a worrier, I am very much a live in the now type.
Worry is a useless emotional reaction to something that is usually not happening in reality.
It prevents nothing but CAUSES all kinds of real problems, like ulcers and high blood pressure and emotional illness and will age you faster than just about anything else.

If you’re going to worry, worry about the bad effects of worrying. lol

harple's avatar

It sounds like your worries are based around feelings of responsibility, so that could be a good place to start exploring… A therapist might at this point work with you to look into whether or not you were given too much responsibility as a child – responsibilities that you could not possibly live up to (nor should you have had to)... Or conversely, if you spent your growing years without being given any responsibility for anything, leading you to feel out of control about even the smallest thing that you now feel is “your” responsibility…

I wonder if you might tackle this a little bit like one might tackle not being able to sleep… try writing down your thoughts. Don’t stress about their being coherent or making sense, just let whatever is in your head – your worries – go onto the paper… There are breathing exercises too, other people are better at explaining those than I am.

SundayKittens's avatar

I’m with all the above!
It sounds like a little OCD/anxiety to me. It can make your life helllllllll. And it’s usually about stuff that no one but you even notices.

See a professional. In the meantime, lists can really help. When you start worrying or obsessing, get up and do something. Take a drive, take a walk, breathe deeply. Things like that help to distract you and put things in perspective.

Let us know how you feel!

SundayKittens's avatar

Just read @harple‘s completely. Great minds.

OpryLeigh's avatar

I have the same problem. I over analyse everything. When I get like this I try to talk to someone that will help me put my problem in perspective (usually my Grandmother or my boyfriend). Sometimes my worrying gets so bad that I have a panic attack. No one can talk me out of that and I just have to ride it out.

soozaloozakpow's avatar

I am also prone to obsessive like negative thinking. I think this issue has to be tackled on a couple of different levels. This way of thinking is usually a symptom of a bigger underlying issue or mental health problem such as anxiety, depression, or obsessive compulsive disorder. Without addressing this, any changes in your thinking is really only putting a bandaid on the problem and chances are good you will experience the problem again. That said, your thoughts have a powerful influence on your quality of life and its a good idea to try to tackle your constant worrying. Thinking is very habitual. It is very easy to slip into a negative thought pattern and it can be very hard to break this cycle. Being conscious of your thoughts is very important for change. It is natural to get “lost in your thoughts” so awareness takes effort and commitment. Focus on your thoughts as much as possible. When you are aware your thought(s) are worrisome, consciously replace it/them with a positive thought. Initially, it may help you to write down your concerns and set aside a specific period of time to address them. Once you do this, give yourself permission to let your concerns go until that time. You have to make the effort to insert as many positive thoughts into your mind as you can. It can feel strange and unnatural to be consciously controlling your thoughts in this way, but be persistent. The more positive thoughts you have, even when they don’t seem all that genuine, compared to your negative thoughts, the more your thinking pattern will begin to change. Over time, these positive thoughts will become more habitual and occur without conscious effort.
Good luck!

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