[NSFW] Where does your aesthetic of sex come from?

I had a difficult time trying to think through what I mean by this, so I hope this makes sense. I think there are a lot of aspects to sexual enjoyment or dislike. There are a lot of balances going on in the way we think about our sexual experiences.

For example, some people think there need be no nexus between the act of sex and the feeling of love. Others think the two are inseparable. For some people sex is a very physical act—almost a competitive event at the Olympics. Others it’s about emotions and the physical side almost doesn’t matter.

Then there is the idea of sex as art. It is best when done by people whose bodies are perfect. For a man, he might get highly excited because the woman he is with has perfect lines and firmness and facial features for him. Women, likewise, might really get turned on by the particular physique of a man.

Brains enter into it. How creative is sex for you? Do you play games? Do different things every time? Or is the same old same old just fine for you?

Ok, so that’s the aesthetic side of it. But it’s not the main thing I’m interested in. What I want to know, once you’ve figured out what your aesthetic is (which you should describe), is where you think it came from. Was it a result of some childhood experience, either traumatic or happy? Was it informed by movies and pictures? If perfection is important, perhaps the notion of perfection came from air-brushed photos of women found in magazines and porn videos and whatnot. Are conversations with friends the first thing that leaps to mind? Is the first source you think of something else?

Of course, the source of your aesthetic probably comes from a number of places, but whatever leaps to mind first, and maybe second or third—that’s all (ha ha) I ask of you.