So what do I do about this girl?

So I’m depressed right now, pretty badly. I’m addressing most of the issues, and have even asked for help regarding some of them on here, but the catalyst to my depression I have largely no solution to. My g/f (on and off for the past 2 years) dumped me about 2 weeks ago.

Back ground…. she’s 19 (literally about to be 20), i’m 25. I know her through her older brother who I’m friends with. We’ve been long distance for the entirety of our relationship (including the “talking” phase). The distance is about 3 hours. We saw each other every 2–3 weeks for usually 2–3 days, though sometimes as long as a week or even two (and sometimes more frequently). She has had one serious b/f prior to me, and has little other dating experience. I have had probably 4 g/fs in my life I would consider serious (including her), and have dated around a bit (though not by choice for much of it). She lost her virginity to me. Yada yada yada you get the gist of it, if you need something more ask me.

Well this summer we had one of our “off” periods, when I dumped her for becoming kind of “crazy.” After a few weeks I went back to her, and she wasn’t really crazy at all after that, but our relationship was apparently on a downward trend. By the time she went back to college for the new year (early september) she almost broke up with me. Well now a month and a half later she finally did it. She tells me she needs space, that she needs to go out and be single, experience college life, that whole thing. Seems pretty cut and dry, and breaks my heart to pieces.

But in talking with her in the days following the initial break up, I got conflicting messages from her. She said things like “I’m not looking to date other people and neither should you” (which she later took back or said she didn’t mean it)... or “Well we’ve broken up before and have always ended up back together, so just remember that.” ... But paired with things like “I don’t see us getting back together anytime soon.” or “Maybe the idea of dating guys here has occurred to me.”

In what sparse talk we’ve had since she even seems sad that I’m so sad… which ok even just still caring about me I could see, but what did she expect? She also is obviously checking my facebook (which has been admittedly “emo” lately) and mistook a sad post last Friday to mean I was killing myself, and called me very upset (kind of insulting).

I dunno, I’m a mess about the whole thing. I have no idea what to do. My experience and my friends are telling me to just let her go, and at least take her space… but the thought of losing her destroys me… Shes very much the best thing that ever happened to me, and I’ll never be the same without her (and honestly I’m not really just saying that…. I’ve dated a LOT of girls and she is by far and away the best). Some friends have suggested that history tends to repeat itself, we’ve broken up before and we’ll just end up back together within a month or two… But how do I cope with it if she’s done something with another guy before realizing she wants to be with me?

Also I had been planning on moving to her city. I had always planned to eventually, and she wanted me too very badly last year. After our break up over the summer I back burnered the idea a bit, I didn’t want to move there with an unstable relationship. But as the fall moved in I “thought” things were improving and started looking at moving there again. But she told me she couldn’t have me move there, that she would feel trapped and like it was too serious. I feel like most of our problems would go away, or at least be less severe, if we were just local and “functional” you know? The irony being it looks pretty strongly like I may have a job opportunity in her city now.

I dunno, I’m a mess…. Opinions, advice, suggestions, comments, whatever… its all welcome.