What to do with a sister that is "Absolutely NEVER Happy"?

Asked by Collegeguy (11) December 14th, 2010

My sister Michelle is a real card. Growing up she was selfish and all about her. It was at that time that I discovered the definition of co-dependent. When we became young adults of the age of 21 and 19 she begin to be unbearable. We are three years apart. I am 47 and she is 44 years old.

Back in the early years if she had a joint and something to drink, she would ask which do you want, but you cannot have both. She would be just as content smoking the joint in front of you, while you drink the liquor that she provided.

Years have passed and I went and had a son. Smoked a little pot but continued drinking. Now I no longer smoke pot nor drink at this age.

Michelle on the other hand smokes blunts(pot) daily. She drinks daily. I stopped because I begin to see signs in her that were familiar to me when we were younger. She is constantly moody, bitter, selfish and is exactly what I don’t like in someone’s personality, which is being mean. I loath mean people.

As I went on to raise my son who is now 24, she attached herself to this very mean guy who I describe as the Black Devil. They were in a relationship for 15 years based on “Money”. This guy does not have money, he worked as a Security guard until I got through with him. I will elaborate on this later.

In 2005 my sister constantly kept mentioning to me that she wanted to buy a house. She asked the Black Devil if he wanted to go in on the house with her, and he repeatedly told her no. I was a Senior Mortgage Loan Officer at that time. I decided to allow another L.O. attempt to do her loan. It went to three other L.O.‘s until the got frustrated and it ended up back on my desk.

I took her file and diligently searched for the right situation for her. After three weeks I was able to get her approved for a home here in San Diego with a view and a manageable monthly payment.

Since I worked in a Real Estate Office I was able to pass the sale to an Agent there. Needless to say I did not make any money because she is my sister. She was very happy with her house on some days, and others wish she was simply a renter.

I then decided to go for my Real Estate license. I received my license and I decided to buy myself a new silver Mercedes Benz. My sister liked my car so much that she decided to buy herself one. The entire time that I was gone, the Black Devil was looming over her head. When I would come visit, he would say that we thought we were both hot shit because we had a Mercedes Benz.

THE BLACK DEVIL- This guy is trouble’s trouble. One night I came down to visit. My car was out front, and her’s in the driveway. At or around 4am I hear her screaming at him about her car. He bashed out her sunroof and put dirt in the engine. He ran in the house claiming that he seen someone around her car but couldn’t catch them. My car was fine and closer if anyone wanted to destroy a car. Needless to say her car was totaled. Insurance finally covered it after countless letters to the insurance company.

I came to visit from LA, and was behind two payments on my Mercedes Benz. He begin to tell me that they offered him $500 to call them when I was at the house for repossession. They got me. No big deal, I bought a new Ford Explorer and yes he received the $500.00

I came down to visit once again and parked my car up the street. I didn’t drive it for two days while here. As it turns out, the Black Devil put egg and syrup in my gas tank destroying my engine. The car is now a loss. When I arrived for this trip, my sister was in her room rolling a blunt and crying into her pot bag. She cried out that she has had it with the Devil and needs help. Me being a Realtor, I quickly drafted her a “60 NOTICE TO TERMINATE TENANCY”

In the agreement with her, he was to pay $1300 per month. Withing the last 5 months he only paid her $500 per month. We did not want to make it about money, just terminate agreement.

So as a result of damaging my vehicle I filed a restraining order on him and served him. When he was served he walked a way and it was thrown at his feet. Because he did not read it, he missed the court date. While waiting for the court date , he called my cousin and and we taped the conversation. On the conversation it said that he was going to blow me off the planet, and end my life. I took the tape into court and played it for the judge. The judge heard a little and said that he heard enough.

The judge granted a 3 year restraining order which meant that he would need to turn in or sell his firearms. What reminded the judge is because I told the judge that he discharged his weapon at my aunts foot at Michelle’s house.

So he kept stalking and coming around after the restraining order. He then gets it into his head that he was going to file a restraining order on me, and kick me out of my sisters house. Hahahahha

The judge tells him there is already an existing restraining order on him, and their is no reason to issue a new one on me. Right at that moment he blurts out ” Thats why I got $500 for your Mercedes Benz” The judge stopped him from outburst.

So let’s bring this to a close.

So, I decided to move back to San Diego from LA. She said stay with me until you get situated.

As I was here, my left knee started swelling. I text her to tell her that I needed to go to the hospital. Rather than her coming to take me, she text me my son’s phone number instead.

1. I ended a 15 year problem that Michelle had with the Black Devil. Because he kept telling her that he is not leaving and will leave when he wants to leave. He is now out of the house for good.

2. I came back and helped her paint and get her house back together. Now it’s very nice again.

3. I decided to give her a total living room make-over when she was away from the house. I gave her a brand new living room set, and a brand new $200 wall picture which makes the living room pop. This was my Christmas gift to her.

Less than 24 hours she says” Are you still leaving by the 1st of January? I was like OH MY GOD!

My son told me not to do it for her because it was not going to make her happy.

She had been telling me for years to go back to college and become a lawyer. As soon as I register for classes she ask me to leave now that I corrected all of her problems.

So now I am replacing the car that her ex boyfriend destroyed. I am a brand new full time student, and now I have to find a place to live in 14 days.

I can’t help but wonder if it’s the new boyfriend, and she wants him to move into the house.

I feel so used and feel like I just don’t trust her anymore. I have found a used car today. When the 1st of the month comes I am going somewhere, I just don’t know where yet.

What I do know, is it’s going to be years before she and I speak again. We walk around here and not speak. I can’t look her in the eyes because I have too much hurt and pain. We had trust, honesty and were closer than any siblings can be. Thats all shot to hell now.

I deleted her phone number out of my phone and will not be speaking to her for a number of years. Their is no reason to speak again as far as I’m concerned.

What ever you do, don’t say life is too short. Don’t say you two are all you have.