Leaving what I know -- How do I get over my jitters?

Things couldn’t be more splendid for the first time in my life. I am blessed with a plethora of great friends, a nice apartment with a charming house mate. My once very rocky relationship with my mom has matured into something sweet. I love where I live. If I need anything or want to do a project I know just where to find things and who to ask to make it happen. While I have extensively traveled all my life (call it wanderlust if you will), I am nervous of leaving what I know here in this region.

For years, I have worked in the non profit sector to make a living. Well, economy being what it is—our wonderful organization had lay offs. But, I feel like this is the best thing that could have happened to me. I am taking this opportunity not just to explore all the creative pursuits I would only allow in my free time but to also go back to college and finish my degree. I am awaiting the responses from my West Coast applications and am working on the East Coast ones this month.

My fear comes at this point. What if I do get into my East Coast schools and try to move? I have lived in California for almost all my life. We are a bit relaxed at most things and I fear sticking out both in school, my politics, the possibility of not find work, or making friends. What if I don’t get this part of me together before I am 40? What if age at a ridiculous level in the next few years and stick out even more? My heart starts beating crazy and I get scared of missed opportunities I may be leaving here.

To add to all of these fears, I am worried I am moving to pursue this smart, charming, and sweet man I was dating this past year. I had already in my mind that I may move to the East Coast and to put in applications. But, when things ended two months ago, I wanted more than ever to be out there with him. He is one of the three cities out there in which I am applying for school.

I won’t get my responses from schools until April at the earliest. I am scared of leaving everything but excited to finally explore this important chapter of my life. I know it will be good for me regardless.

How do I get over these jitters? What do I say to myself to be excited and not frightened? What exercises have others done in which to be living in the present and going for everything while you are in the prime of your life?

Thank you for reading such a long post. I know it must sound so ridiculous coming from a ‘grown’ woman.