What would you do? (serious medical question)

Two weeks ago I found out that my chronic pain was caused by stage 4 metastatic lung cancer. I am receiving radiation for pain management, but I don’t want chemotherapy. At best it could give me a few more months, albeit ugly, sick, physically ravaged, immune compromised months. I watched chemotherapy kill my grandfather when I was five. If it was someone I loved I wouldn’t want them to have it either. I am against it because it is poison and it kills in some cases quicker than the cancer does. I am looking into alternative treatments and clinical trials at the moment. My family wants me to have it, and they are angry at me for not wanting it. I understand that their anger is because they want to see me beat this thing, and that is exactly why I don’t want chemo. I want to beat this thing and I believe I can as long as my body and immune system are intact.
My question is, what would you do if this was your situation?
Thank you for reading this.