How does one learn to love their body regardless of its flaws?

I am an 18 year old female and simply put – I hate myself. I guess I should mention that I am a cancer survivor and I experience a lot of late-effects from the chemo and radiation I received. I have ugly scars, my hair has never been the same, and surgeries and radiation have caused one side of my body to be noticeably larger than the other. I am 5’6” and I weigh 99 lbs, with a bmi of 16. I can’t look at myself in the mirror anymore without crying. I try and try to GAIN weight, but I end up losing – which just makes me hate myself more. I feel ugly, worthless, and gross. I’m tired of people calling me anorexic. I hate myself and it’s ALL because of my body. I can’t be intimate with my boyfriend because I am ashamed of how I look naked. How can you learn to love yourself and accept your flaws? I don’t even know if I can accept myself. Lately I’ve been having terrible thoughts about my cancer coming back and killing me this time. The terrible thing is, I kind of want that to happen at this point…