How would you re- write computer error messages so that they are clearer and maybe even witty?

Lets have some fun here!

Today my computer said to me “Your start up disk is full. Cannot save.”

What the heck is a start up disk? What is it full of? What do I do?
(I figured out what to do after talking to an awesome geek but still- should I NEED to call someone? Can’t things just be in basic talk?)

So why does it have to be so ambiguous?
I think we need to come up with error messages that are not so vague and just get to the point.

For example I think that this error message could have easily been said like this:

“You have to get rid of a bunch of crap right now or I will drop dead”

What error messages have you gotten and how would you re-write them? Anything from the blue screen of death to what ever?