Am I wrong for getting mad about this, regarding my daughter?

My partner decided that she was going to hang up a dark blanket over my one-and-a-half year old daughter’s window to put her for a nap, because she has trouble sleeping because of the light. I came home and saw it, and said I thought it was a great idea and she could keep it up.

Later in the day, I was playing in my daughter (Alyssa)‘s room with her, and she went up to the blanket and easily pulled it off of the wall with very little force – and three thumbtacks went flying onto her bed.

The reason that they had come off so easily was because instead of being pushed firmly into the wall, they were just barely pushed into the corner of the windowsill and the wall. Some of them weren’t even attached anymore.

I called my partner and asked her if she could be more careful next time, but she said that she had put them in that way because it was easiest and rushed me off the phone. I would have dropped it then if she had done something less dangerous like left a diaper on the floor or forgot to clean the cat’s litter box, but this was bugging me because I felt like we needed to discuss being more careful with things like that in the future, so I sent her a text message asking her to please not freak out about it, but that I wanted to discuss it further with her when she had a chance.

BTW, she was/is at work, but she just told me the other day that she wanted me to call her more often and that it was fine to call her at work if I wanted to talk to her. So that wasn’t an issue 2 days ago.

I knew she was busy so I didn’t expect a returned message, so I gave Alyssa her bath and put her to bed. My partner (Erica) had asked me to call her once the baby was asleep because she wanted me to look up something on the computer for her, so once Alyssa was asleep I went outside and called her. She was happy and glad to hear from me, and I asked her if she had checked her text message. She said no, and asked what it was about. I asked her to read it, but she insisted that I just tell her. She was still happy at this point. So I told her that I just wanted to talk about the thumb tack thing a little more, because she had said that she had put them in that way because it was easiest, and when putting something potentially dangerous in the baby’s room, we needed to do it the safest way instead of the easiest.

She immediately blew up on me. She wouldn’t let me speak and told me that it wasn’t her fault, and that it was 100% my fault for letting her pull on the blanket. I couldn’t get a word in to tell her that it had happened in a split second. She said if she would have gotten hurt it would have been my fault. She went on a 10 minute long rant, telling me “If you interrupt me I will hang up on you”, telling me that I was blowing it out of proportion and finished her rant with “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” I told her that it wasn’t fair to just tell me her side of it and refuse to talk about it anymore, and I told her that I didn’t feel like I was blowing it out of proportion because she could have been hurt very easily. Her reasoning for not wanting to talk about it anymore was “She could have gotten hurt but it didn’t happen, so why are you mad about it?” She ranted again for another 5 minutes about how I wanted her to get on her knees and beg me for forgiveness. I told her that I wasn’t asking for an apology, I was asking her to be more careful in the future. She said “I’ll be more careful in the future, ok?” in a very mean tone, then added, “Is that what you wanted?” I said yes, and she hung up on me, telling me not to call her and that she didn’t want to hear about it anymore.

Nothing happened at work that made her upset. This isn’t the first time that she’s gotten mad when I talk about doing something different with the baby or want to bring up something that should be done different in the future, but we have been working hard on our relationship and just agreed yesterday that she needs to stop blowing up on me when I bring up something like that. She always apologizes later, but still doesn’t really admit wrongdoing – she just doesn’t want to fight anymore, but keeps making the same mistakes. This is the first time she’s done something like this though, and this is the first time in a long time that I asked to talk in more detail about something that happened.

Am I wrong for wanting to discuss this with her? Should I have just dropped it?