How can you be financially strapped making 100k yr?

Without going into all of the details of our budget, I will start with some basics. We have no credit card debt! I have an AMEX that must get paid each month in full so it keeps us out of trouble. We have one car payment at $375 month. our mortgage is $1,900. which includes school taxes etc. The rest is your basic living expenses and we always end up going over our net income because of a birthday, christmas, this or that must doos… How on earth can we make a dime less? I better be employable at this rate for the next 30 yrs too! I am stumped each day at folks making 25 -45k yr or 60k per family. In Chester County, PA, you will be forced to move out. Any home under 200 which is very RARE is a shack of a dump. ARGHHHHH! What are my options at 100k yr? Move into a 1200 month appartment? That is what 100k buys in America? I feel very stupid. I really do… where is the other money going? 500. gas, 400. food, 150. cable and internet, 120. phones, 80. auto insurance, and I am forgetting other basics. No FAT to cut unless we scale down to a small appartment.