Have you ever fished for compliments? If so, how?

Are you blatant about it—asking straight out how someone likes you or something you’ve done? Do you use a more subtle method? How do you fish for a compliment?

I think there are different kinds of compliments. Some compliments are kind of social glue. Like monkeys grooming each other. I tend to discount those. I don’t think they are meant seriously. They are part of the patter of interpersonal reciprocation. Most often, people say these things out of obligation and expectation. They may or may not be sincere.

There are the compliments you fish for, which then also may or may not be sincere. If you fish for a compliment and get it, do you believe it? I hardly ever believe any compliment (although I do thank the person).

It is easiest for me to believe an unsolicited, “out of nowhere” compliment because that is the kind a person chooses to give. There is no social obligation. There is no harm in not providing the compliment. It is sincere when there is nothing to be gained from the compliment other than giving acknowledgement where it is appropriate.

Do you mistrust some (or all) compliments? Why? Do you believe most (or all) compliments and think that my suspicions about compliments are some kind of unnecessary precaution? Do you care if people say them just because it makes nice? Do you provide compliments to those who blatantly ask for them? Like performers? What makes a compliment work for you?