(NSFW?) How do I stop this sex problem from damaging my relationship?

I’m sorry this is long. Skim if you want to.

Alright, so my boyfriend and I have been together for a couple years. We live together. We have always had good sex. But…when I say sex, I mean strictly sex, not including foreplay, or for a while, orgasms even. I got fed up with never having an orgasm during sex and, about a year ago, brought it up with him. Now he always wants to help make me come, which is great, but is not the problem. The problem is foreplay. He just doesn’t know what the hell is going on. He has had triple the amount of sexual partners I have (I think 6 or 7…I’ve only had 2) and up until about 3 weeks ago when I flipped my wig regarding this matter…he just doesn’t get it, it seems. So when I want him to do something, like tease me instead of just jump right in and start licking my nipples, I have to tell him. Which I’m okay with most of the time but instructing him on every little thing I want him to do can kill the mood and seem like a hassle. Which is the last thing you want during sex, to be hassled, right?

So last week he was sick at the end of the week, tired at the beginning, and at this point we haven’t had sex for weeks. Several different nights I initiated sex and even went down on him, but both times I stopped when he, a. fell asleep or b. seemed completely uninterested. I haven’t tried since then. There are other issues in our relationship but when it comes to sex, tonight for instance I was just COMPLETELY uninterested. We were laying in bed and he was touching me and I was enjoying it, and then he went down on me and after about 2 minutes started complaining that his neck hurt. I get that it can be uncomfortable being in a weird position down there, but it’s no different than sucking dick from a weird angle and I’m not gonna cry about that, especially when it’s giving him so much pleasure. So I gave up. I told him I just wasn’t feelin it. I wasn’t in the mood to make that much effort.

So I got sort of upset thinking about our failing sex life recently and I told him that I think that the problem is that just naturally we don’t mesh that well sexually. This upset him a lot, more than I expected, and I didn’t know what to do or say, but I think it’s true. My first sexual partner was my boyfriend of a year and a half when I was 17/18…we were both virgins but somehow we had really good sex and he could always make me orgasm with his mouth or fingers….my current boyfriend has never done this. I’m not comparing them, but I would really like to be able to orgasm like that again and I’m pretty sure it will never happen.

THE BOTTOM LINE IS that I have become so uninterested in sex because the becoming-aroused-process isn’t all that fun. Even all the advice I have given him, and I’ve told him just to touch and tease and explore and enjoy himself at the same time….it’s doing nothing. In turn I don’t want him, which makes him feel like shit, and makes me feel like shit, and I have no idea what to do.

I’m sorry this is long. Please. I don’t want to hurt him, and I don’t want to be hurt, but this problem is killing us. Insight?!?!