How do you learn to be open to intimacy and to trust a significant other after you've been raped?

In a question about losing virginity some women started talking about the impact of losing their virginity in a rape situation (around here). Several said that they then started having sex with a number of men they didn’t care about, perhaps as a way of reclaiming their power and selfhood.

I know a number of women who have been raped who also did similar things. I’ve found that many of them, at one point or another, manage to get their selfhood back. For some it takes many, many years, but it also can be much quicker.

I’d like to know what has to happen and how it has to happen for women who have been raped to get to the point where they can trust a man as a person instead of as a thief of their personhood. I refer to women, but anyone who has been raped, no matter their sex, could answer this question based on their experience.

I had wondered if I should ask about this topic in a public fluther question. I was reluctant to because it is such a private thing and I know there are a number of women here who are reluctant to talk about what happened to them. However, several women encouraged me to ask the question, so here it is.