If your spouse fell in love with someone else, or desperately wanted to have sex with someone else, how would you want him/her to handle it?

Two separate hypotheticals, but let assume in both cases:
—the spouse in question hasn’t done anything wrong—hasn’t cheated, hasn’t flirted, hasn’t crossed any lines.
—your lives are very heavily intertwined—kids, property, shared business interests, etc.

Scenario 1: your spouse has fallen head over heels in love with another person. Would you prefer your spouse tell you and promise to get over it, tell you and leave you, or not tell you and try to put it behind him/herself?

Scenario 2: your spouse desperately wants to have sex with another person. Totally meaningless sex, but your spouse craves it. Would you rather your spouse do everything s/he can to suppress the craving and never tell you about it? Tell you what s/he is going through and suppress it? Act on it in secret, as long as it never affects you? Would you ever give permission for your spouse to have a meaningless fling?