How do I count to ten?

Okay, this is kind of a rant disguised as a question. Please forgive me.

My gf turns 50 today (4/24), and the past week has been nothing but stiff-arms for me and depression for her. Today, I had to endure dinner with her girlfriend and a talk about how (essentially) I couldn’t possibly understand at my age what it’s like to get old, lose your looks, have less energy, blah, blah. (I have puh-lenty of experience with all of those feelings, but it’s not about me, so I am biting a fucking fault line in my tongue all through dinner.) She’s doing the “I feel old, fat and ugly” routine, and “I don’t need you to convince me that I’m not old, fat and ugly, I need you to acknowledge my feelings.” Yeah, well, she’s been saying a version of that since we’ve been together, so it’s not a new revelation, just amplified because it’s her 50th birthday.

I’m pissed because instead of enjoying this week and our relationship, it’s just a total goddamned drag. Granted, I’ve been dead weight on many occasions during our time together, but this is just irritating. So, I’m putting on a happy face, making this week about her and pulling together some thoughtful presents, but right now a big part of me wants to say this is not what I’m imagining for myself in the long run.

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent my spleen. Have at it, if you will.