Tips on bringing a family together?

After my Mom died (four years ago), my immediate family pretty much went their separate ways. I have a father (73), a sister (turning 50), and two brothers (47 and 48). I am 39.

My Mom was the one that brought us all together. She’d host all of the holidays and do her best to keep us all connected. Both my sister and one brother were in bad accidents (car and work related). They are unable to work and are dealing with debilitating chronic pain, so, we do things on their terms (understandably so). My sister also lives an hour away. My other brother is married and pretty much spends time with his wife’s family.

My Dad has a new partner and spends all of his time with her. He has never been a good father. It was my Mom who was the caring/selfless one. My Dad is the one who needs to be cared for. He only thinks about himself. It has always been that way. In fact, two days before my Mom died, she looked him square in the eye and said “you put those kids first”. She knew what he was like. Anyhow, he hasn’t. Not once has he taken the initiative to get the family together, nor spent one on one time with us. Nor has he spent anytime with his grandkids. If you would like him to do something, you always have to ask him. He never offers.

I am the baby of the family, and after losing my Mom, and everyone going our separate ways, I have felt that I am without family. My sister was someone that I was closed to. We were like best friends (her, my Mom and I). Now, because she isn’t doing well and certainly isn’t herself anymore (her life is spiraling downward), I feel alone. Not trying to sound dramatic, but, I feel like an orphan. I received a lovely card and phone call from my g/f’s family on my birthday (which was on Sat). My sister called me, but, other than that, nothing from my brothers and Dad. It hurts. And, I know that my Mom would be pissed.

We (my siblings and I) told ourselves when my Mom was dying that we would stick together. We really haven’t.

Is there anything that I could do?