Have you ever raped someone, worried you were too forceful, or been accused of raping someone?

The number of people who are sexually assaulted in their lifetimes is staggeringly high, and reportedly 99% of rapes are committed by men.

I think men and women tend to experience sex very differently. I have trouble conceiving of any situation that would cause me to force someone into having sex, and the statistics suggest nearly all women feel the same way.

So I’m wondering if we can get any perspectives from men who actually raped someone, who regretted the forcefulness with which they pursued sex, or were accused of rape, falsely or with some accuracy. I think at the very least, some men out there should be able to identify with a feeling that maybe they were too pushy, or didn’t pay attention to subtle cues and signals that the woman didn’t want to have sex, and I’m hoping some of you will be willing to share.

What caused you to do this, and how did you feel about it after? Do you think you were justified, and the woman overreacted? Do you feel like social pressures created a situation where you felt you had no choice? What were you thinking about while it happened?

I would like to ask that this not degenerate into a discussion about the accuracy of the statistics, about the fact that other types of rape (beyond male-female) exist, etc. Let’s just acknowledge that those are valid concerns and stick to the question at hand.