Most incredible person you ever met vs your husband?

It’s midlife. Your kids are 15 and 10. You own your house and car. You have substantial amounts saved for retirement.

You meet someone and, not expecting it to happen, fall in love. In every way, you are matched well and when you are together, he makes everything seem perfect.

You can see each other but rarely. You aren’t satisfied with that. He, it becomes clear after a while, is making every effort to patch up his marriage. His wife caught him and they’ve been in counseling. But he doesn’t want to give up you. So he’s still sneaking around trying to contact you without being caught by his wife who is watching his every move.

You see that your lover probably won’t ever give up his marriage and won’t give you enough of his time. Much as you love him, you decide to try to cut it off. You ask for a two-week separation, which is granted, although he is protesting he will miss you every second of every day. He gave in very easily.

You want to be able to cut it off completely after the two weeks, although you know that will hurt you greatly. You, too, have a marriage that is not that great. You would rather not end the marriage, but you are also desperately unhappy, and your lover was perfect for you.

Should you cut off the lover and stay in the unhappy marriage and hold on to all that you have accumulated and be able to bring your kids up?

Should you wait for your lover to maybe get sick of his wife and come to you?

Should you kill herself for being such an awful person? Or if not kill, punish yourself by cutting yourself off from everyone you love?