Is there a polite way to ask my mother in law to stop asking me insultingly stupid questions?

I am THIS close to furious right now. My mother in law and I are going to the funeral of a distant relative together. She just called to ask me if I knew that I shouldn’t wear shorts and a T shirt, but instead wear “something nice” and “appropriate” to the funeral.

Yesterday, I mentioned that the neighbor kids came over to ask if my almost 9 month old daughter could come out and play. So I took her out and we played with the neighbor kid. She asked if I supervised my daughter while she played with the preschoolers, or if I just let her outside to go play by herself. A NINE MONTH OLD BABY.. did I let her outside to play and then stay indoors while she played with preschoolers all by herself?

What in god’s name? Does she think that I am a total drooling idiot? She is CONSTANTLY asking me questions that show that she must have an insanely low opinion of my intellect or common sense.

Is there any way to give her a polite STFU? I’m thinking of asking her annoying questions all the way down to the funeral like “Are we supposed to wear shoes to the funeral? I didn’t bring any.” Or “I ordered spaghetti. Is it OK if I eat it with my hands instead of a fork?” “I’m going to let my daughter crawl around on top of the casket when we get there, just so you know..”