Is it possible for a guy who parties and hooks up with party girls to really fall for a girl who doesn't?

I don’t want to make this really long, but there is so much to say. We knew each other before he was involved in a serious accident wherein he almost died. He was home bound for several months. We live very near one another, so I started messaging him and then visiting him at home. I just knew him as a guy that was kind of a jerk, actually. I guess I just felt kind of sorry for him being there everyday.

Anyway, we started talking, and not just shallow talk, really in depth discussions about so many things…particularly spiritual things; but other serious subjects too. I was amazed. After about a month, we started dating. He said he had never really met a girl that he had so much in common with. I knew he was a party guy before, and I also knew that he had been around the block more than a time or two, if you know what I mean. I haven’t! Ever! He knows this, and never stepped out of line. He even told me that he thought was was a really great thing.

We didn’t date long. He broke up with me, and went back to partying. What I don’t understand, is that when he broke up with me, he said that he still wanted to be with me, but that I would break up with him because of his crap. Now we get into the most ignorant fights. He will talk about me forgiving him for breaking up with me, and that he thought it was best for me and that he doesn’t want to lose our friendship. When I agree with him, he gets mad. Every time I mention being friends, he gets mad. Once, he told me that we weren’t good for one another, and I told him that he was right…he said, “You have no idea how much of a B**** you are being right now. What??

We have fought so much, and I know that he is a good person inside. I understand that even good people choose to do unwise and hurtful things to themselves. That’s what I think he does. He has a rough family life, and I think he tries to make himself feel better by drinking and having sex with all of these girls. I am friends with his best guy friend, and the guy friend has told me that he has never seen my ex as genuinely happy as he was with me, and that he didn’t party when we were talking and dating, but when we broke up he just went back to all that.

He says that he still cares for me, that he wants us to be friends, but everyone seems to think that he feels more than friendship towards me. He will bust his butt to try and go places with me and my friends, and he will stay right by me, bumping into me like he used to when he wanted to hold hands; talking about inside things; trying to make sure that I’m happy. But, on the weekends he’s out drinking and partying just like before. Funny thing, he tries very hard to either make me think he isn’t doing things, or he tries to make it sound like it wasn’t anything big, you know?

I told him the other day that I wasn’t comfortable talking to him or being around him, not that I don’t want to be. I didn’t tell him that it was because I felt stupid for still having such strong feelings for him. Anyway, he blew up, big time. Cussed me from hell to breakfast, said that he didn’t want to be my friend anymore because I only saw his screw-ups. As far as I know, he has NO idea how much I REALLY know, because I don’t tell him any of the things I hear. I won’t just sit around waiting…well I can’t promise I won’t, and I know that is SO stupid! Waiting on a guy. But he’s so much more than a drinker and man-whore. He has so much potential that he doesn’t seem to see in himself. He’s intelligent. I believe that he want’s to do good.

I’m no Florence Nightingale. I can’t nurse him to health, or “fix” him. He is the only one that can do that. I can support him if he will let me, but I don’t know that he will ever be honest enough with me for that. But the real question is…Does this boy, who seems on the surface so distant from what I am, have feelings for me that are stronger than friendship? Or am I just wanting him to have them? We agreed after the last BIG fight that we would just start with a clean slate, and the next morning he sent me a sweet “good morning” text, like he did when we dated. It seems like he goes back and forth. His best guy friend is even confused. I’m pretty sure that he has at least one “sex buddy”, but I also know that it doesn’t mean he has feelings for her, and I know that’s bad. I can’t imagine having sex with someone I didn’t love.

Please, can anyone tell me, if a guy like that can really care for or even love someone…me for instance? Can he live in both worlds until he decides which one he really wants? Can someone explain it? Because I can’t comprehend it? But, if he does care for me as more than a friend…if it’s possible to do that and party at the same time, I really want to wait, at least a while, because I’ve caught a glimpse of what he CAN be like if he chooses. I’m really sorry this is so long, but I didn’t know if anyone could really understand if they didn’t hear most of the story. Thank you for your time in reading this, and for your input.