Are my mother and I codependent? What should I do?

I just had a very eye-opening talk with my older sister who no longer lives at home. She thinks my relationship with my mom might be harming us both.

My mom is pretty much my best friend, as lame as that sounds. I’ve never been that teenager who hates being at home; in fact I often prefer a quiet night in to going out. When I left for college, I didn’t miss my friends much, but I really missed my parents. I don’t know why I’m that way, but I always have been. I think being really ill through most of high school might have something to do with it.

I’m in the middle of what has turned out to be a eight-month-long-and-counting surgical process. I’m spending more time home now than ever. I’m getting pretty sick of it and am looking forward to going back to college. But, I appreciate all the support I’ve gotten from my mother. She is here with me through every step of the process, hears me out on every worry, and has been spending a lot of time with me while I heal up.

It’s come to my attention that my health has become her and my entire world. Our days revolve around caring for my wounds, getting me fed, going to my appointments, et cetera et cetera. When I take a step forward, we both rejoice. A step back and she feels the pain as much as I do. It took my sister as an outsider on the situation talking to me to cause me to realize this might be a problem. My mom and I spend most of the day home alone together and I wonder if the two of us are just marinating in our shared concern for my health so much that we’re making ourselves crazy.

I don’t feel a real desire to change the way I’ve been living lately. Spending this time with my mom never seemed like a problem, but now I’m worried that we may be mutually reinforcing hypochondria and mental illness related to the stress of going through this surgical process. To make matters more confusing, we had a bit of a fight yesterday because she rescheduled my final surgery for a month later, when I didn’t want to wait. Do I need to have a talk with my mom? What on earth do I say? I am so confused about my life and feelings right now…