Are my toes just plain stupid?

My closet is full of flip flops. Some are antique. Wife has bought me several and friends have given me flip flops for my birthday. Most just hang around and gather dust and cobwebs. Why? Because my toes must have an IQ of 10! My toes will not co-operate in wearing flip flops. I can take two steps and one goes to the left and one goes to the right…...off my feet! Question: do you have to be a genuis to wear flip flops? Is there a school that teaches a person how to wear flip flops? Would Super Glue help?