Can you share your thoughts on dealing with family situation (details inside)

I have a lot of extended family living locally. The family gets together for all the big holidays, the annual pie fight, and for various other celebrations throughout the year. I love my family and these get togethers and think it is especially awesome for my kids to spend time with cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. However, as many of you know my husband is a wheelchair user and not a single house where these events are hosted is accessible to him. He is pretty social by nature and would like to spend time with the family as much as I would. This is complicated by the fact that my family members don’t understand that there is more to a house being accessible then putting a couple of boards over the steps or a couple of strong guys pulling his chair up the steps. A makeshift ramp like this just won’t work and frankly I am not willing to force him to endure having people he barely knows yank him up stairs. DH is bummed that he can’t go to the gatherings; family is feeling like he is anti-social or avoiding them, and I feel stuck. So far I have left DH behind, attended the events, and endured the questions about where he is and why we don’t just figure out a way to get him in the door which is easier said then done.

I do know that the first most logical suggestion would be to host these things at our house, but that is just not an option. These folks all lived in town long before I arrived on the scene and there is a protocol in place for who hosts what and very little willingness to adjust that protocol. Now that we are settled in to our new home we are of course planning to host other gatherings for the family.

FYI, @gimmedat totally understands the issues here.