Can someone help me with a battle of the personalities?

I’m fighting a major battle of the personalities and I don’t know what to do. I’ve been fighting this same battle for over a year now. I don’t feel the same as everyone else. I feel like I am different. I’m naturally cold and hard, and it feels like that’s where I belong. I want to be “normal”. I want to feel emotions and be happy, but others definition of happy just doesn’t make me happy. I’ve gotten myself to feel emotions for real, but it just doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel like me. I strive to feel, but it just doesn’t feel like that’s a part of me. Can someone who knows what I’m talking about give me some advice?