How do I process something like this ?

Last April, a former classmate of mine (in the same class from 2000–2010) murdered another classmate of mine, and abused her sexually afterwards. Of course this has a pretty massive effect on everyone who knew them. At first I couldn’t begin to realize the fact that she is now dead. I guess that’s a normal reaction. I felt very blunt and got pretty paranoid. I’m coping and I feel quite okay, but now nearly a year has passed and I still just can’t realize what has happened. I feel like this is like some kind of self protection. But I want to ’‘get it’’,even though I’m terrified of the moment when it all unravels. Is there any way to cope, anything I can do to process this ?