Does my definition of and approach to love put me in the minority?

I came home last night and ran into my neighbor who told me that her husband of 14 years just left her. It came as a complete surprise to her but he told her that she wasn’t the same person that he had once been attracted to. Then I received an email from a guy friend of mine who said that if it wasn’t for the kids, he would leave his marriage because the relationship that he envisioned isn’t the one that he has. And then my mechanic/friend called me to say that his divorce was finally done – he was free of the woman who he initially believed was such an old-fashioned girl and who ended up stealing money from his company and nearly bankrupting him.

All this brought to mind something I recently read in a novel. The female character says, “Have you ever noticed that when people are dating, no one is who they really are? The guy will take the girl to nice restaurants and dancing when he actually hates that kind of food and doesn’t like to dance. And the woman will pretend to like his favorite sport when she couldn’t care less….I mean, I know it’s human nature to want to make a good impression on someone if you like them, but there’s a big difference between making a good impression and pretending to be someone you’re not. If the guy doesn’t like dancing and she really hates football, they should just say so. They can’t keep up the pretense forever. Is it any huge surprise that a few years down the road they don’t recognize the person sitting across from them at the dinner table? I just don’t get it.”

I’m with her. I don’t get it. What’s to be gained by playing games and putting on an act? Isn’t that the same as lying to the other person and making him/her fall in “love” with someone who doesn’t exist? Why do so many people seem to be swayed by things that don’t or may not last – like looks and money? I DON’T believe in a fairy tale kind of love but I DO believe in the kind of love that’s based on honesty and that remains even when there are disagreements and the looks fade away, the sex may not be possible for whatever reason, and the money is depleted. I seem to be in the minority though.