Do you believe it's wrong to love a deceased partner more than the current?

Also, why do you think some people choose to never remarry?

Ever since my bf told me he loved me I began thinking way to deep. It lead to this question. I don’t think I can ever have the strength to be with someone who has a deceased wife unless we both had deceased spouses. I just can’t imagine wanting to love someone just as much as a first husband because I’d feel it wouldn’t be special. I know you guys probably think I’m being unrealistic but I think that the term is more “unlikely”.

I know you can love multiple times in life at extremes but I feel that there is only that one person I choose to be with if they all came together in a room. Call me unrealistic, but I’ve always been wired to think that way. I believe in remarrying but honestly, I hope if I were to die that my husband/partner would think of me as the love of their life.

I think that it’s all on situation though. For example, my step-grandpa was married to my grandma for many years. He remarried but when he died he wanted to be buried next to my grandma. I don’t know how his late wife felt about that…but I do know of a lot of old people who have deceased partners in common and remarry and are able to comfortably discuss their partners. Some even find companions but never remarry again. (I find that usually the couples that do this are both who have lost a partner) I hope this I never have to deal with but if I were to lose someone I hope it’s when I’m old and can find another widower.

If I were to lose someone right now I don’t know what the heck I would do or feel if I found someone new again. I would be so confused. I know you’re not supposed to compare but I would feel so bad if I felt that I often thought of my deceased partner or if I feel like my current partner fits me way better.

My friend’s wife lost her bf in an accident. She says her husband is the love of her life not her long term bf that had died. Although she still loves him.

Again, I really hope I never ever find myself in this position. But if it were, I hope it’s when I’m really old and have spent most of our lives together lol.. =( I’m so depressed at the thought of losing someone I love….