My g/f has gone "crazy" since moving in, how do I deal with it?

Okay so I’m going to try to summarize this as quickly and concisely as possible, bear with me…

My g/f and I (who have been dating for over a year and a half at this point) moved in together in the middle/end of May. We’d been planning it for some time, and in fact almost moved in last fall until I got cold feet. In a short time span right before we moved in, she had a number of major events in her life. She left a long term job that had drained her physically and emotionally (the management sucked), she got a new job that while in her field isn’t what she wants to do (so she could stay in town with me), her long time pet cat died very suddenly (had an unknown tumor that burst, had to put it down), she moved out of the apartment she lived in for a few years and in with me. Possibly complicating matters is her birth control, which we’ve long suspected causes her to be extremely emotional/angry/what-have-you around the “PMS time.”

Anyways, we moved in, and really even the night before we moved in she started a mean/crazy streak. It takes next to nothing to set her into a bad mood or get her angry at me. Simple mannerisms or behaviors that I’ve had for the entirety of our relationship now seem to upset her. I’m not the model of cleanliness, but I’ve been trying very hard to keep up with chores and still unpacking things in our apartment. I think I’ve done more than my fair share (especially considering I work 60+ hours a week and have other obligations, so generally I’m not home to do chores anyways). But for all the chores I do, forgetting to do one or simply not having time for it will get me a stern mention of it, or her very passive aggressively doing it, or flat out just make her angry at me.

Last night she spent an hour or two cleaning out a closet of ours that has been a catch-all since moving in. She did a great job and it looked pretty good. She had put my dog kennel in there, but had to put it so it was sticking out of the closet and the door couldn’t be closed. So I came down, pulled everything out and put the kennel in horizontally (so it fit and the door would shut), and I placed everything back in, exactly as it was, but on top of the kennel. I thought it looked great and I was happy to have contributed (especially since most of the things in there were mine anyways). Well this morning rolls around, she sees it, and she’s pissed off. Talking about how it looks like things are just piled in there and you can’t get to anything, and I ruined her day. Even if it were piled in or you couldn’t get to anything, it would take all of 3 minutes to put it back exactly how she had it, door open and all… and I ruined her day?

Anyways that’s just an example. The real question is, what do I do about this? We’ve talked about it at great length since it’s caused us a few major fights. She feels she’s dealing with depression, and I totally understand that. I understand she had a lot suddenly go on in her life, and I’m trying to be there for her. But even when I try to do nice things for her she gets upset. Our power went out a week or so ago, and while she was at work I went to the trouble of driving around town (with no working stop lights mind you) and picking up food I could cook on the grill. The cherry on top, I bought some of her favorite Ice Cream (Jeni’s) in pint form and put it in our freezer when I got home. I knew it would melt, but I figured it would stay frozen enough that we could eat it all immediately after dinner. Well the food portion goes fine enough and seems to actually cheer her up from a bad/sad mood she was in. But then I tell her to open the freezer and get out the ice cream (surprising her)... and she gets upset! Asks why I would waste money on nice ice cream and let it melt in our freezer, and gets upset that I would even open our freezer. She refuses to eat the ice cream cuz of it being halfway melted, and proceeds to call a friend to see about storing food in their fridge, and I overhear her rideculing my decision to even by ice cream!

Sorry that turned into a rant. Anyways the gist of it is, I’m trying to be there for her, but she is driving me away and causing me to lose my attraction to her. I want very badly for this relationship to work, but everytime a fight like this happens I just become more and more numb to the whole thing. What do you suggest?