How does one find who they are?

All my life I have been the person that others expected me to be. Even when I first went to college after graduating from high school, I made a choice of what to major in based on what field other family members had worked in.

Now, I’m 42, and I still don’t feel as if I know who I am. If I’m not latched on to someone, I don’t know what to do, and I can’t find an inherent joy in life unless I am getting approval from someone else.

I changed my major last spring…and I have never been so terrified, simply because it was the first time I felt I had made a decision solely based on my wants. (And I’m not talking about mundane stuff, like where to eat dinner, or the kind of car to buy, but rather life changing decisions). I have yet to find the courage to tell my family about changing my major, especially my parents, because I am pretty sure they won’t understand why, after finally returning to school, I am slowing the degree process down by doing so (although not by too much, it turns out, since I had mainly taken general requirements, and many classes had coincided up to this point.

That is one example, but in general, I feel like I don’t know who I am, and I don’t know how to find out…

Any helpful advice would be appreciated…