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Does expressing concern over my partner's smoking help or hinder his journey to quit?

Asked by KhiaKarma (4331points) October 20th, 2012

This is an opinion question. I obviously know that you cannot possibly know how my specific partner will respond to any scenario…. I am looking for answers from your personal experience or what you think you would do in his/my shoes.

Background info:
I got pregnant and had to quit smoking cigarettes. It was surprisingly easy for me, but I had motivation (a healthy baby).

I really thought I would probably smoke a cigarette every now and then after having the baby, but 1 year post-partum and I have not even had one.

If I have a craving, I just delay it and I forget- but I am out of the habit. Plus, the smell is so bad that if my partner has one and he touches something, I can smell the smoke on that item. Yuck! And it really does taste like I am licking an ashtray if I kiss him….

Well, my hubby has not been able to quit as easily. He will quit for stretches of time, but then will resume his habit. The circumstances around him smoking again vary from stressors to being around smokers at his new job (and sometimes there is a benefit to the smoking social circle).

So I am debating whether I should say something about when he smokes or not. I worry about the health risks and I know that if he breaks his abstinence, he gets the nicotine back in his system again….cycle begins again

But does me stating my concerns make it worse? I know no one likes to be harped on… But I also am not used to holding my tongue if I know that it is something dangerous. Lung cancer runs in his grandmother’s side of the family and his great uncle died of lung cancer- and he never smoked!
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So what do you think? How would you feel if you were trying to quit? How would you want your partner to respond?

How would you handle your worry if you were me and you wanted to support your partner with quitting smoking?

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