How is a manifesting god compatible with the idea of a benevolent god?

I have had discussions with many theists who declare that their god is benevolent, but doesn’t manifest. So, when asked why a god may allow something awful to happen, we discuss the concept of free will and how this agreement demands that god remains completely “hands off”.

There are some Christians, however, who believe that god has actually made an appearance to help them or tweak something about an event as to minimize suffering or help a person realize his existence. For those who believe this, how do you feel about the fact that right now someone is being sexually and physically abused, and will soon be murdered? Where was god when Elisabeth Fritzl needed him? What about the countless others?

Atheists might cringe at a football player claiming that god helped him win the superbowl – not just because of the absurdity of it, but because it means that god intervened on behalf of guys in spandex running around a field tackling each other, but doesn’t seem interested in helping children dying from famine or torture.

So, how does god choose when to intervene? And how do you resolve the apparent ethical problems a manifesting god presents?