Perfect plans for you weekend VS reality?

Do you ever make plans for the weekend only for them to always go horribly wrong?

This is my perfect plan:

Wake up nice and early, and have a nice fried breakfast.
Then go to the bookies and have a bet on the football scores.
Get my bike and meet up with my friends, have a nice 20 mile ride out into the country side.
Stop off at a country pub and have a nice pub lunch. Usually beef, mash, roast potatoes, veg, yorkshire pudding and a sausage with a ton of gravy all over it.
Then we’ll sit in the beer garden in the sunshine have a few beers and check the football results, only to find out my bet came through and i won quite a bit of money!
Cycle back into town, buy some new clothes with my winnings, grab a coffee and head home for dinner.
Get showered, put my new clothes on and meet back up with my friends.
Hit the bars and clubs, then towards the end of the night meet a hot girl, take her back to my place, have sex.
Then in the morning she has already called herself a taxi, and not stolen anything.
Perfect.

When in reality…

Sleep through my alarm. No bacon, gonna have to have cornflakes.
Put my bets on.
Meet up with my friends, cycle into the countryside.
Get a puncture about 10 miles in, have to fix it at the side of the road. Get soaked by a car going through a puddle whilst I’m fixing the puncture.
Get to the country pub NO BEEF LEFT!
Check the football scores didn’t win my bet.
Cycle home in the rain.
Have dinner, meet back up with my friends and hit the bars.
Get punched in the back of the head for no reason in a club, get angry about it and get really really drunk.
Wake up in the morning on the floor next to my bed in all my clothes, soaking wet because i was so drunk that i pissed myself.