How do you win at Facebook?

Please don’t tell me it’s not a game. Facebook is high school to the nth power. There are rules. They may not be stated, but just like the rest of society, they are there.

What are the rules of Facebook? The unstated ones. What do people respect? How do you get attention? What kinds of things do different people want?

Facebook is, for me, a necessary evil. My son signed up for an account today. Now I have to pay attention again. Someone shoot me.