I can't afford mental health counseling. What's next?

I asked a question on here a week ago (read it if you wish) – it basically outlined how ridiculously insecure I am, especially in relationships. I have borderline personality disorder, a terribly low-self esteem, low self-worth and sense of identity. It is not uncommon for me to attempt suicide, simply from being unhappy with what I see in the mirror. It’s outrageous and it’s a constant battle. This is my dilemma: the waiting list to get into a therapy program for this disorder is over 2 years. My only other option is paying for private counseling… which is about $150—$200 per HOUR. I am going to University and only work part-time. I can’t afford it. I don’t know what to do. I am very insecure and afraid that it’s going to ruin my relationship with my boyfriend. And that would literally kill me. Any advice?