Adult Jellies: Have any of you had such bad relationships with your parents that you just gave up?

My relationship with my mom is not good. She is helpful to me in that she babysits a lot for my daughter. My parents are also my landlords (they own the house that I live in and I rent it from them), and therefore I am in the spot of them having power as my landlords, having to see them more often then I would like due to their babysitting, and yet my mom is bitchy with her comments and tends to be controlling.

On a regular basis, she annoys the crap out of me. When I go visit, we often sit in the same room and small talk is at a minimum. In order to provide examples, I would have to get into the details of “she said, then I said” which is very time consuming and probably hard to understand out of context (I have posted questions here where I have discussed issues we’ve had in conversation). Some of her bitchy-ness comes in the form of her tone of voice or the way she words things, which would not be understandable if I typed it here. I will be sarcastic in response, or “give it to her” not by cursing her out but by telling her why what she’s saying makes little sense to me. Also, since she’s retired now (for about the past five years) she tends to be more anxious and obsessive about things.

We had been to therapy in the past, over a relationship I was in about seven years ago. The therapist at the time said, as far as her controlling issues, that “she just cannot help herself.” We made light of it, but I understand that she just cannot help it. He also worked with her on accepting my job, that the job that I am in is not necessarily the job that she thought I should be in (a teacher) but regardless, my job is a very good one (a civil servant with good benefits and security).

Part of the problem is that I am in a situation that I always caution people is not good: Mixing up their business relationships and personal relationships. That my parents are my landlords and also my parents is a mix-up of personal and business relationships.

Right now, I see them to pick up my daughter and holidays can be fun but otherwise, it’s focused around the child. My parents are educated, and if I need advice on something, they can be helpful, but with the relationship the way it has been, I try to avoid them as much as possible, when I can. I am ready to give up on it ever being anything other than that.

Are there any Jellies out there that have given up on their relationships with their parents? How did it work for you? How is it now?