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Am I being a bad friend?

Asked by bookish1 (13159points) May 24th, 2013

I wonder if I’ve acted in an inhospitable manner toward one of my oldest and closest friends. We haven’t seen each other in 3 years, but we’ve stayed in touch periodically by phone. A few weeks ago, she texted me to ask if she could visit in early June.

I wrote her back saying that it would need to be very brief because I still face a lot of logistical work planning a yearlong trip abroad (including driving to a consulate in another state to kowtow to bureaucrats, nailing down housing in at least two cities, finding doctors over there, etc.) as well as putting most of my belongings into storage and moving out of the first apartment I’ve lived in by myself. I need to get most of this stuff done before August. She has some serious helicopter parents who continue to make all these sorts of arrangements for her, and I feel like she doesn’t fully appreciate how complicated the adult world is when you don’t have someone taking care of you.

It’s been more than a week and I haven’t heard from her, and I have so much going on in June that I can’t really just leave this potential visit up in the air til the last minute, which I know is how her mind works. Was it inhospitable of me to immediately specify that she could visit, but only for a very brief period? What should I have said? I am not accustomed at all to planning long-distance visits with friends as an adult. Thank you in advance for your insights.

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